Marriage Problems – Solutions, Not Over-Analysing Marital Problems

 

In the midst of a breakdown in your marriage, it’s inevitable that you or your spouse will keep thinking about problems that have arisen in your relationship. However, it’s more important in that critical period to focus on solutions to the problems, rather than harping on the cause of such problems.

 

To focus on solutions instead of being caught up in over-analyzing problems, here are three pointers:

 

1. Ask the right questions.
Asking questions will help you move towards closure. However, unconstructive questions will merely prolong your hurt and grief. Instead, you should ask questions with the clear goal of resolving any problems and improving your relationship. Some good starting questions are: “What can I do to have a better marriage?” or “What compromises I can make with my spouse?”.

 

2. Focus on the purpose.
Always think about the reasons behind your actions and your objectives. You want to act decisively, rather than be caught up in petty arguments about minor issues. This will merely build up annoyance and tension between you and your spouse.

 

3. Make the process fun.
Although it will be almost impossible to revert back to the glory days of your relationship with your spouse, it is still possible to find fun in the process of re-building your relationship. Instead of dwelling on the hurtful past, go out and pick up a joint hobby. It’ll be easier to heal if you have common interests and can spend quality time together.

 

Ultimately, focusing on solutions would help you to heal faster and may even help you better understand your partner. This is far more important than over-analysing the reasons behind the breakdown of your marriage.

 

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Founder and Principal Lawyer
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Beatrice Yeo Poh Tiang

Having handled over 10,000 divorces since 2006, Ms. Beatrice Yeo, the Founder and Principal Lawyer of the firm, is widely acknowledged as one of the best divorce lawyers in Singapore.

She has extensive experience in all aspects of Matrimonial Law, including Nullity Proceedings, Contested & Uncontested Divorce and Mediation.

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