Divorce Fears – Addressing Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are unspoken assumptions couples may have of their relationships. They can be conscious or unconscious, and either serve as a motivating force or keep you back from reaching your full potential.

Limiting beliefs are dangerous because they could sabotage any form of intimate relationship a couple might have. It is therefore crucial to identify the limiting belief and try to work around it.

Limiting belief 1: “I don’t deserve happiness.”

Despite all our best efforts, we may have been affected by a troubled childhood- growing up with divorced parents, or parents that were always fighting. This may spill over into your belief that you don’t deserve happiness. To satisfy this limiting belief, you may seek out weaknesses in your relationships, or dwell on any pain. To work around this limiting belief, you should think more positively and recognise that there is no perfect relationship.

Limiting belief 2: “It’s too late to change.”

Although damage may have been done to your marriage, it’s never too late to change. If you’re willing to put in the effort to maintain your relationship, you can begin to make amends. To work around these negative thoughts, you should self-reflect and think about whether you can see yourself within this marriage in another ten years.

Limiting belief 3: “I’m unsure of everything.”
 
The breakdown of your marriage may make you doubt your identity or your purpose in life. Even in the darkest times, you should take care of yourself- your marriage and family should help you feel more rooted, not more isolated. To find a solution, you should set some goals in line with your personal values, and take steps to work towards them.

Limiting belief 4: “I don’t know where to start.”
Even though rebuilding your marriage may seem an uphill task, you and your spouse should work towards improving your relationship anyway. You could start with simple things, like enjoying a home-cooked meal together or taking a walk in the park. As long as you remain civil, you could possibly rediscover a connection with your spouse.