Low Self Esteem in Divorce – 6 Ways to Encourage Yourself During a Divorce


In the midst of a divorce, your self-esteem may have decreased drastically. You may feel a sense of shame or guilt, coupled with the disconcerting feeling of being single once again. Inevitably, you may feel hurt due to your spouse’s supposed betrayal. This may then lead to you wondering whether you can ever find another significant other.


To deal with such complex feelings, here are some tips on re-building your self-esteem:
1. Find Yourself

Marriage may have led you to lose touch with your inner self. This is because marriage involves weighty commitments, such as taking care of the children, managing the household, and juggling your career simultaneously. To re-discover your individuality, set aside time for self-reflection and healing by picking up hobbies such as reading, traveling or yoga.

2. Brush Up on Your Appearance

In the midst of an emotionally-draining divorce, you may have neglected your appearance. By keeping yourself well-groomed and in shape, you can boost your self-esteem and feel more positive. Do exercise regularly, keep a healthy diet and keep to your beauty regime. This will allow you to pull through your divorce without seeming like you have completely given up on yourself.

3. Do Something Beyond Your Comfort Zone

To heal yourself emotionally, you should break away from the usual mould and try something beyond your comfort zone. This is so that you can discover new aspects of yourself. Skydiving, learning a new language or travelling are all great ways to try something new and unexpected. You might even meet some interesting people during the process of learning something new, and subsequently build new relationships.

4. Look Ahead

Don’t blame yourself for the divorce. After all, people and relationships change over time. By looking forward to life after divorce, you can lay out a path towards a future with higher hopes and aspirations.

5. Stay Positive

While it may be tempting to adopt a victim’s mentality to your divorce, it always takes two hands to clap and you may have contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. Nonetheless, if you have already decided upon a divorce, moving on would be in your best interests. By staying positive despite all the conflicts and negative emotions, you could regain satisfaction and happiness in life as an individual.

4. Finding Closure with Your Spouse

Even as you’re getting divorced, you should still try to maintain a cordial relationship with your spouse. After all, disparaging him or her in front of family and friends, or refusing all communication will not help resolve problems or facilitate your divorce. To find closure, you should attempt to consider the reasons behind the breakdown of your marriage leading to divorce, and discuss subsequent plans with regards to children (if you have any), finances and your matrimonial home. By tying up all the loose ends, you can lay a foundation for building a life without your former spouse’s involvement.

Undeniably, a divorce will affect even the most confident, self-assured and well-adjusted of individuals. Giving yourself encouragement and maintaining self-esteem is hence key to a relatively trouble-free divorce.

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Founder and Principal Lawyer
of Yeo and Associates LLC

Beatrice Yeo Poh Tiang

Having handled over 10,000 divorces since 2006, Ms. Beatrice Yeo, the Founder and Principal Lawyer of the firm, is widely acknowledged as one of the best divorce lawyers in Singapore.

She has extensive experience in all aspects of Matrimonial Law, including Nullity Proceedings, Contested & Uncontested Divorce and Mediation.

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